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Women supporting women
I had a really tender moment this week connecting the threads of two friends lives through Whatsapp. I have a friend S who is caring for her husband who has been newly diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer. They are reeling from the news and frightened about what lies ahead. When she reached out for support I was painfully aware that sharing tips about what I have seen helps someone going through treatment is nowhere near as reassuring as hearing from someone who is living through treatment. I knew my other friend A would be willing to share some words of wisdom (and she did so from her hospital bed). They’re too good not to share - if you are supporting someone I hope this helps.
''Hi Nic. I am so sorry to hear that your friend's husband is facing aggressive chemo. It is not a fun journey! The biggest thing is to maintain a positive attitude. Some days you don't feel wonderful but these are the days when you rely on other people to help lift you up.
Don't be the hero. If painkillers and/or anti nausea is offered, take it. It is easier to maintain the levels and keep things at bay than it is to treat in once it has set in.
If you feel tired, sleep. Take each day as it comes and don't be afraid to say no. People do understand and you won't offend. Do only the things that you have the energy for. There is no prize for exhausting yourself.
Talk to people. You are not on the journey alone. Share your experience. The people around you will be grateful.
Accept help, if it is offered. Even if you don't need immediate help, ask when you do need it. Again, there are no prizes for heroes. People that offer will help whenever it's needed.
I don't know if any of this helps at all but it has helped me.
I am back in hospital today. Have started chemo.  
It felt like such a privilege to be the message bringer between these two wonderful women. S found such comfort in hearing A mirror her thoughts about what was needed - leaning into help and shrinking their world down. It's such a shock physically and mentally when someone starts chemo. Complementary therapies are a massive support but caution is also needed re. timings and demand on the body/mind. Even something lovely brings a load to an already challenged body.
I'm attending my final Integrative Therapies Diploma module this weekend when I'll be learning about Acupressure for Cancer care. It will be wonderful to know I have further options for people who are suffering with difficult side effects from treatment. |